Give Up On Defensive Behavior

I have always been such a people pleaser that it is sometimes hard for me to be "clear" when confronting someone or giving them news that I fear is going to hurt their feelings. I don't like to hurt people - whether I like them or not and whether they like me or not – I just try not to hurt feelings. Therefore, when I do have to do it I feel like I am going to have to "defend" or justify my choice, my statements or my decision depending on the situation. I have learned that many times – when I am not perfectly clear that I leave room for confusion about what I really said. So – now I find myself picking up the pieces, suffering the consequences and even having hurt people even more because of that lack of clarity.

I have discovered that I am not fair or just with people when I do that. I also have found that I am not leaving room for God to work, even when it is something that I have prayed about and feel is the right direction. (as an aside, I am learning through Proverbs that I need to seek the counsel of a variety of godly, wise men and then follow my heart from there) Anyway, Psalms 37:4-7 addresses this for me…

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: {6} He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. {7} Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways.."

When God says that He will cause my righteousness to shine and justify my cause – I realize that this is only under the conditions of the promise in verse 4 - but it gives me comfort. It helps me to see that when I feel that I AM being led by the Spirit and that I am seeking to please God with decision and choices that I have to make, that I no longer have to feel defensive about these things when asked or even feel like I have to go around and explain them to others. I do what I believe to be right in God's eyes and even though it may be hard and cost a lot – I still believe that God's Word teaches me that I will be defended by Him and be justified in the end by Him and that I should "wait patiently for Him" to act.

I always say, "The right thing to do is often the hard thing to do but in the end it will bring the most blessing from God." So, I want to give up on defensive behavior. Today!