Get Out…

I wish I wasn't so mean.

Several years back, when the kids were little, we were driving along with all four of them in the van and having one of those moments that parents have. One of my sons (age 6 or so) was mad about something and would not listen to reason or advice. As the argument between a 30 year old dad and his 6 year old kid escalated – my son muttered, "I wish I wasn't even part of this family anymore." Well, after a couple more exchanges, he shouted it at me.

Wrong thing to do… I yanked the car over to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes at the same time. As we came to a skidding stop alongside the shoulder of the road, I reached back behind my wife's seat to the sliding door handle, yanked the handle and slammed the door back. There he sat at the open door looking from that to me with a questioning look.

"Fine, if you don't want to be part of this family then you don't have to. Get out. Go ahead. Get out right now! If you don't want to listen to me when I talk then we can end this right here. Get out of MY car and find a family that you DO want to be a part of," says the loving and caring father of a suddenly terrified six year old boy.

His face froze. He looked to the door, looked back at me and then at the door again. When he looked back at me the last time, he broke into tears and begged me not to make him get out.

You would think at that point that a loving father would melt. Oh no. Not me. I just continued to drill him and let him know that as long as he was part of this family (if he chose to stay) that he would listen, honor and obey me. "Do you understand?"

As he cried and nodded, I told him to close the door. So he stayed. I looked over to my wife as we pulled back on the road. She was looking straight ahead. I looked to the other kids in the car. Stone faces. No expressions. Hmmmm.

I wish I wasn't so mean.

To this day, we laugh about that – in fact, every once and a while one of the kids will say in their deepest scariest voice "GET OUT". It provokes outbursts of laughter now – but it wasn't so funny then. Eventually, I felt horrible.

I am so glad that I will never, ever hear the words "GET OUT" from my Father in heaven.

Hebrews 13:5-6 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." {6} So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

I am a pretty bad example of a loving father sometimes but God is the perfect Father that receives us back – even when we are bad – as long as we return to Him.

Return to Him today – He will never reject you. (and never make you get out of the van)

Give Up On Defensive Behavior

I have always been such a people pleaser that it is sometimes hard for me to be "clear" when confronting someone or giving them news that I fear is going to hurt their feelings. I don't like to hurt people - whether I like them or not and whether they like me or not – I just try not to hurt feelings. Therefore, when I do have to do it I feel like I am going to have to "defend" or justify my choice, my statements or my decision depending on the situation. I have learned that many times – when I am not perfectly clear that I leave room for confusion about what I really said. So – now I find myself picking up the pieces, suffering the consequences and even having hurt people even more because of that lack of clarity.

I have discovered that I am not fair or just with people when I do that. I also have found that I am not leaving room for God to work, even when it is something that I have prayed about and feel is the right direction. (as an aside, I am learning through Proverbs that I need to seek the counsel of a variety of godly, wise men and then follow my heart from there) Anyway, Psalms 37:4-7 addresses this for me…

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: {6} He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. {7} Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways.."

When God says that He will cause my righteousness to shine and justify my cause – I realize that this is only under the conditions of the promise in verse 4 - but it gives me comfort. It helps me to see that when I feel that I AM being led by the Spirit and that I am seeking to please God with decision and choices that I have to make, that I no longer have to feel defensive about these things when asked or even feel like I have to go around and explain them to others. I do what I believe to be right in God's eyes and even though it may be hard and cost a lot – I still believe that God's Word teaches me that I will be defended by Him and be justified in the end by Him and that I should "wait patiently for Him" to act.

I always say, "The right thing to do is often the hard thing to do but in the end it will bring the most blessing from God." So, I want to give up on defensive behavior. Today!

God’s Provision – So Weird

There are some things I don't think I will ever understand this side of heaven. How a planted seed knows when to burst open and grow. How a baby goes from "breathing" in fluid for nine months (especially in the last few weeks as the lungs finish developing) and then emerges from the womb and then immediately breathes and processes oxygen instead of fluid. How fire mesmerizes me and I can't stop playing in it. And then how God works to bring about His purposes, at the request of His children, and yet seemingly He is acting long before the original prayers but yet He wants us to ask and trust Him.

Recently, God worked in my life in a way that I thought strange – I had the sermons planned and I even was ahead of the game a little and felt like I was on top of things and then… then I was reading in His Word and there were a bunch of seemingly unrelated news items, personal stories and movement in my heart. So – a few weeks ago I canned the "planned and finished sermon" that I had prayed over, studied for and organized and spoke from a changing heart that God was still molding. In fact – twice in a row that happened and we adjusted on the fly.

God wanted me to share about the importance of giving and the importance of doing it from a right heart, right motive and right actions. He showed me a variety of Scriptures that seemed to be spread out all over the Bible and yet they were all coming together into this, apparently, single purpose message opportunity. So I shared – from what God was teaching me. The next week, I had a chance to share again from same basic set of verses about how the church is supposed to act in order to BE the church.

It was weird – no notes – just a few Post-Its to keep me on track. No "Main Idea" other than "Give to God First and He will Supply ALL your needs" and "It is Time for the Church to be the Church". But – I guess that is enough. The funny thing – the giving has not gone up. In fact, it is a little worse! J However, I have seen and heard about our people offering to help those in need, handing money to those without jobs, buying Thanksgiving meals for those that are underemployed, taking EVERY LAST heart from the "Have a Heart" Tree in one Sunday. I guess that as I have said before – It is my job to speak the truth. It is my job to sound the warning. It is my job to plant the seed. It is my job to lead through example. It is God's job to change hearts. It is God's job to cause the growth of the seed. It is God's job to meet ALL the needs from His boundless resources.

We just act when the Spirit says "Act". Move when the Spirit says "Move". Speak when the Spirit says "Speak". And respond when the Spirit changes our heart. Listen to the Spirit – God will provide all the rest.