Give Up On Defensive Behavior

I have always been such a people pleaser that it is sometimes hard for me to be "clear" when confronting someone or giving them news that I fear is going to hurt their feelings. I don't like to hurt people - whether I like them or not and whether they like me or not – I just try not to hurt feelings. Therefore, when I do have to do it I feel like I am going to have to "defend" or justify my choice, my statements or my decision depending on the situation. I have learned that many times – when I am not perfectly clear that I leave room for confusion about what I really said. So – now I find myself picking up the pieces, suffering the consequences and even having hurt people even more because of that lack of clarity.

I have discovered that I am not fair or just with people when I do that. I also have found that I am not leaving room for God to work, even when it is something that I have prayed about and feel is the right direction. (as an aside, I am learning through Proverbs that I need to seek the counsel of a variety of godly, wise men and then follow my heart from there) Anyway, Psalms 37:4-7 addresses this for me…

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: {6} He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. {7} Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways.."

When God says that He will cause my righteousness to shine and justify my cause – I realize that this is only under the conditions of the promise in verse 4 - but it gives me comfort. It helps me to see that when I feel that I AM being led by the Spirit and that I am seeking to please God with decision and choices that I have to make, that I no longer have to feel defensive about these things when asked or even feel like I have to go around and explain them to others. I do what I believe to be right in God's eyes and even though it may be hard and cost a lot – I still believe that God's Word teaches me that I will be defended by Him and be justified in the end by Him and that I should "wait patiently for Him" to act.

I always say, "The right thing to do is often the hard thing to do but in the end it will bring the most blessing from God." So, I want to give up on defensive behavior. Today!

God’s Provision – So Weird

There are some things I don't think I will ever understand this side of heaven. How a planted seed knows when to burst open and grow. How a baby goes from "breathing" in fluid for nine months (especially in the last few weeks as the lungs finish developing) and then emerges from the womb and then immediately breathes and processes oxygen instead of fluid. How fire mesmerizes me and I can't stop playing in it. And then how God works to bring about His purposes, at the request of His children, and yet seemingly He is acting long before the original prayers but yet He wants us to ask and trust Him.

Recently, God worked in my life in a way that I thought strange – I had the sermons planned and I even was ahead of the game a little and felt like I was on top of things and then… then I was reading in His Word and there were a bunch of seemingly unrelated news items, personal stories and movement in my heart. So – a few weeks ago I canned the "planned and finished sermon" that I had prayed over, studied for and organized and spoke from a changing heart that God was still molding. In fact – twice in a row that happened and we adjusted on the fly.

God wanted me to share about the importance of giving and the importance of doing it from a right heart, right motive and right actions. He showed me a variety of Scriptures that seemed to be spread out all over the Bible and yet they were all coming together into this, apparently, single purpose message opportunity. So I shared – from what God was teaching me. The next week, I had a chance to share again from same basic set of verses about how the church is supposed to act in order to BE the church.

It was weird – no notes – just a few Post-Its to keep me on track. No "Main Idea" other than "Give to God First and He will Supply ALL your needs" and "It is Time for the Church to be the Church". But – I guess that is enough. The funny thing – the giving has not gone up. In fact, it is a little worse! J However, I have seen and heard about our people offering to help those in need, handing money to those without jobs, buying Thanksgiving meals for those that are underemployed, taking EVERY LAST heart from the "Have a Heart" Tree in one Sunday. I guess that as I have said before – It is my job to speak the truth. It is my job to sound the warning. It is my job to plant the seed. It is my job to lead through example. It is God's job to change hearts. It is God's job to cause the growth of the seed. It is God's job to meet ALL the needs from His boundless resources.

We just act when the Spirit says "Act". Move when the Spirit says "Move". Speak when the Spirit says "Speak". And respond when the Spirit changes our heart. Listen to the Spirit – God will provide all the rest.

Like Zeke – I Speak

It seems like I learn more and more what being a pastor is all about – lonely yet surrounded by people, rewarding yet frustrating, busy yet slow moving with change, promising yet heart-breaking. I like most of it but there are parts that I don't like.

I like people – but sometimes – people hurt me.

I like seeing God work through and in people; changed lives are incredible – but it frustrates me when most of my time is spent trying to help someone fix a problem that stems from not following advice that was given in the first place.

I like teaching about what God teaches me – I find, though, that when I teach and people don't like what they hear – then I am "wrong" or a "bad teacher".

I like encouraging people to live a life worthy of the call – I don't like having to be "the watchman" and the "warning bell" because then you say the "hard things" and people have to decide where they stand.

Ezekiel was warned by God – "I have called you to be my watchman for Israel. You will speak my words and they will not respond. Tell them that this is the Word of God and that you are speaking it whether they listen or not." Zeke was told that if he obeyed and they responded – everyone wins but if he obeyed and they did not respond then he was free from the guilt of their punishment. He was also told that if he DID NOT speak and they stayed in sin or fell into sin then their sin was on his shoulders! Yikes!

So - Like Zeke – I speak.

Teach and share the truth. Please God – not men. Say the hard things – live the hard choices – endure the harsh criticism – pray for strength – cherish the good moments.